Yes, I’m a stay at home mom

30 Jul

I’m a SAHM. There. I said it. I don’t feel guilty at all. I was working since I was 16, so to me, a job was just always something to make money. I never had a dream job in life. Just knew some paid more than others. Yes, I went through all the motions, high school, college, got my BA, and got a big girl job.

Long story short, I wasn’t happy at one of the jobs I had so my husband said I didn’t have to work anymore on the condition that I just didn’t stay at home all day.

I never did that. I volunteered with a wonderful organization for 3 years, I started skating again, and I did temp work as well. However, I just felt guilty. No, it wasn’t like I was going on shopping sprees, far from it. People would just make me feel bad. They’d tell me I had no focus in life. Horrible things. In fact, the non profit I was volunteering with was the most rewarding job I ever held. No, I didn’t make any money, but I worked with inner city girls and we’d teach them about manners and self-esteem. Just seeing them transform from being shy & insecure to smiling and confident girls made my time worth it.

Still, I felt guilty. It wasn’t until a temp job I found turned into a permanent part time job that I felt a little better. Still, it frustrated me that although I was doing rewarding things during my time as a stay at home wife, I was still made to feel guilty. People pictured me sitting on the couch, eating bon bons & watching soaps no matter how much I told them about the volunteer work I was doing. It was just “wrong” to stay at home.

Now that I’m a stay at home mom, I feel a little bit more accepted. Sure, there’s women that are shocked that I don’t plan to return to work in the foreseeable future, but I’m getting more support from people now that I have a child. I do love staying at home. I did love my part time job that I left once I had Andrew, but sadly, all my money would go to daycare, and that didn’t make any sense.

I love being able to play with my son all day, meeting other moms & their kids and being able to share what each other is going through. Since I had Andrew, I’m also discovering a lot of activities & events I would’ve never known if I didn’t have him. 

I’ll probably start looking for work once he’s in school, but for now, I’m enjoying my time. My mom wasn’t around when I was really little, so I feel like I want my son to get the experience I never had. 


6 Responses to “Yes, I’m a stay at home mom”

  1. Mercy July 30, 2013 at 10:24 pm #

    Gee, why would people think that doing something to help others was a waste of time? Maybe they were trying to soothe their own consciences so they could feel better about not doing any sort of volunteer work.
    I’ve been home with my kids since my eldest was born (almost 6 years). Some days are fun, some are stressful, some I wish I could erase. I do look forward to working part time when they are all in school.

    • basicallyb July 31, 2013 at 2:22 pm #

      Thanks for understanding! I don’t know why some people like to bring others down.

  2. Larks (@LarksNotesThis) July 31, 2013 at 10:59 pm #

    It always galls me when people give SAHMs crap for “not working.” Dude. Taking care of another totally dependent human being all day is a lot of WORK. There’s no eating bon bons while lounging on the couch involved. Good for you for ditching the guilt!

    • basicallyb August 1, 2013 at 8:27 pm #

      Thanks to yet another person who understands!

  3. Honest Mom August 1, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

    People can be so judgy, can’t they? Blech.

    When I was laid off from my job and couldn’t find work, I volunteered at the March of Dimes, but basically I was a stay-at-home wife for 9 months and it was AWESOME. Yes, I was spending many hours each day looking for work, but I had time to cook nice meals, keep our tiny rented house clean, and do all the errands and laundry and crap. So when Hubs got home, we just got to enjoy our time together. It was a wonderful time in our marriage. So I totally get it!

    Being a full-time SAHM wasn’t the best thing for me – and as a result, my kids. But I am thankful that I have a part-time job and can get the SAHM experience too – just not every single day. ;-)

    • basicallyb August 4, 2013 at 4:47 pm #

      Sounds like you have the best of both worlds!

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